I was the one

I was the one

who was the subject of that gaze.

The sparkle in your eyes

always shed light upon my face.

You lit up when you saw me,

like the sun shines upon the moon,

but it’s dark now

and it won’t be day again soon.

 

Now you look at her in that special way

and at me as if I’m just a passer-by.

She’s your moon now

and I’m just an ever-orbiting thing

that can’t break away,

that can’t say goodbye.

Letting go

You are probably going to think that I am overly dramatic, but frankly, I don’t care, because I cannot believe that people go through the immense pain of being heartbroken each and every day and they just have to deal with it. I realise that it’s an inevitable part of life, but it just, well, sucks.

I don’t understand how one day someone can mean the world to you and the next day you have to accept that you are not “allowed” to talk to that person. All you seem to think about is the sweet and long lost memories and you, if you are like me, find it impossible to turn off your brain. You want to go into hibernation and probably sleep for a year.

Another problem, of course, is the fact that EVERYTHING reminds you of that certain person. Entire albums or playlists have to be deleted from phones or iPods, clothes have to be burned, letters and photos have to be thrown away and then be dug out of the bin in a moment of weakness, etc.

You might wonder what I am trying to say, well, I am not even sure, but I think what I am trying to get to is: It’s okay to miss someone so desperately that you send them creepy texts when you aren’t even drunk or think that you want them back even though you know that your relationship had to end, because if you do not feel that way after not only losing your lover, but also your best friend and the person you could always confide in, then there is something wrong. Something much more wrong than just talking to your ex when you are not allowed to or balling your eyes out while eating a tub of ice-cream (I apologise for mentioning an awful, but very true cliche).

You’re not going to get over that person easily and it’s probably going to get worse before it gets any better, but it’s okay and you have to allow yourself to be sad. You have to allow yourself to be crazy. You have to allow yourself to cry… a lot. You have to allow yourself to think things through and there is nothing wrong with the fact that you do all these things and don’t be afraid of them, because they are normal and, because I obviously love cliches, I have to say the following: you will be stronger when you overcome the pain and the anger. The only way out is through.