Not sent 1

I want nothing more than to send you a message right now. I don’t know why, because I am not even really expecting an answer, but I don’t care. I just want you to know that I am constantly thinking about you. I also can’t help but wonder when the bitterness of your loss will start taking away the smile I get every time my mind entertains thoughts of you. I want to tell you that my day wasn’t too bad and that I am stressing about exams and that I want to have a picnic with you and make you try sushi for the first time. I want to tell you that the amount of time I spent only thinking about hugging you today was definitely unhealthy. I want to tell you that I watched the sunset while I was running on the treadmill and that it was breathtaking. I want to tell you that I sent you a letter today and I have this nagging feeling that it will never reach you. I want to tell you that I am so in love with you and that I do not agree with you at all, but at the same time I don’t want to tell you anything, because I know that will just make everything harder than it already is.

I’ll try my best not to tell you anything ever again.

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