Not sent 2

Obviously I sent you a message, because I’m weak. Not only one message, but a few. I didn’t know what I expected, but I just know that I expected more. All of a sudden it’s as if you turned into someone completely different. I don’t understand how you can be so cold. The thing that really sucks though, is that I understand why you are being this way. To be honest, I just want to push you. Like shove you very hard. Your rationality and reasonableness is killing me slowly. Then again, I can’t even be properly mad at you, because you’re just so right. It’s as if you can see everything crystal  clear while I am stumbling half blind on a path I don’t even want to be on. I even have nightmares at night about how I am wearing glasses that make everything blurry and strain my eyes, but for some reason I can’t take them off. I really think God only put you in my life so that I could learn a couple of things from you, but now that I’ve learnt them you’ve been grabbed abruptly off my life journey and I really don’t want to walk the rest of it without you. I guess I just have to get use to it and I pray that one day I will wake up and be able to take the glasses off and understand why it had to hurt so much.

It hurts so much.


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